How To Be A Successful Stay-At-Home Mom Published by Nicole Dieckman March 7, 2025 | This article may include affiliate links, please see our disclosure policy.
Reconditioning Outdated Ideology About Being a Stay-At-Home Mom
Not a lot of us filled in the blank, in elementary school, when they asked us what we want to be when we grow up, with Stay-At-Home Mom.
I think some us did say, “I want to be a Mom,” and then our teachers, or whoever was asking at the moment, guided us away from that with “No, what do you want your job to be.”
In that moment we were undervalued, right away, before we even became who we are today.
We were set up for a mentality of failure by the generation before us that was trying to push women into the workforce.
They had good reasons, but it left some of us with the wrong impression of what a successful life could look like for a Mom.
They made us feel like we had to go to college and we had to have a career we earned with that degree and if we didn’t, we weren’t living up to our full potential, so we imagined something different than this. Because they didn’t have college courses on motherhood or homemaking.
We didn’t want this. We wanted to be something grand that deserved accolades.
You Can Be A Successful Stay-At-Home Mom
But I’m here to tell you, that if you do find yourself in this kind of life, being a homemaker can make you more successful and happier than anything they encouraged you to imagine back then.
And you will deserve accolades, the tiny hands that present them, handmade from art class, that proudly announce “Best Mom Award” are the most important hands in the world.
At the end of your life, they will be the accolades that matter most. And you will know whether they were deserved or not.
It was Samuel Johnson, the poet, philosopher, and author of the first comprehensive dictionary of the English language that said,
“To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition, the end to which every enterprise and labor tends, and of which every desire prompts the prosecution.”
He was reflecting on the idea that the ultimate goal of all human effort- whether through ambition, labor, or desire- is to find contentment and happiness at home.
The Importance of Domestic Happiness Over Material Success or Fame
I want you to think about this when I tell you that the secret to being a successful stay-at-home Mom, is to embrace being a homemaker.
You are the manager, the daily conductor, moderator, influencer of the ultimate result of all ambition. What really makes people happy. A happy home.
As a homemaker, you’re in charge of the end game. So take negative Nancy that sounds like your mother or your teacher that’s saying what you do isn’t important enough, and sit her in the corner facing the wall.
Because the difference between feeling really happy and successful or feeling depressed and worthless, is understanding that your role is more valuable than money.
It’s knowing what’s important in life. It’s knowing that the ultimate goal of all human effort is happiness at home.
Embrace homemaking. Because it’s a damn good job. And it’s more important than they told you in school.
Embracing Homemaking
So how do you embrace homemaking as a stay-at-home mom?
Well let’s start with the obvious.
When you embrace homemaking, you become the mastermind behind the creative direction of your home.
Close your eyes and start to imagine your family, in a home that is truly happy and comforting, what does that vision look like?
Imagine a couple years down the road, what would your home be like if it was the perfect safe, comfortable, and pleasant place for you, your spouse, and your kids?
What is important for your kids to do and learn?
Is game night or movie night important to your family dynamics, or maybe you’re sports oriented and them being happy in a sport is important.
What is the aesthetic you want for your life? Clean dishes? Clean clothes? Clutter free living?
These are not mundane tasks.
These are your goals, what you need is a plan of action on how to orchestrate and reach them.
If you understand that, by doing the dishes in the morning and the evening, and finishing a load of laundry from start to finish every day, is your work, because you have a vision, and in that vision you’re family thrives in a clean home, and you understand that you are THE homemaker, and those tasks are pieces of the legwork, then suddenly those tasks aren’t repetitive worthless tasks.
Hard Work That is Purposeful
If you understand that by cooking your family dinner you are presenting them with a love language understood by every human, then you can embrace that part of your job.
Your goal is happiness for your family. Cooking and feeding is a love language that creates smiles and satisfaction when it’s done right.
So start by closing your eyes, and creating your vision, your families end game. What does your happy home look like?
Write it down. Make a vision board.
Anything you need to do that makes you believe and understand this, being a stay-at-home mom is not just your job, this is a career, and you are capable, and in fact, in charge of making it all happen.
Three Obstacles for Stay-At-Home Mom Success
I want to talk a little bit about an action plan to making it all happen, but first I need to talk about the three most common mental obstacles that feel like very real physical obstacles.
Number one is temporary housing.
This may be an apartment, a rental house, or something owned like an RV or trailer home, but the obstacle is the same: in your mind, when you close your eyes and envision your end game, you do not see the place you live now, because this is temporary.
So you don’t want to put the effort into this home. You think the place is keeping you from making it your dream home right now.
So you’ll do homemaking later, when you have that dream home.
But here’s the truth- even if this space isn’t permanent, it is your home right now, and life happens in the moment, not in the future.
I’ve lived in twelve different places while being a homemaker over the past eighteen years, and with my husband and children, I’ve made every single one of those places a home.
You have to make your vision come to life in the space you live now.
The second obstacle is money.
Limited funds is a very common obstacle for homemakers because that generally means you are a family living on a single person’s income.
This is why dollar tree hack videos and makeup dupe videos are so popular.
We all need to penny pinch and according to Bank of America 47 percent of all Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. I guarantee a large percentage of that is young start up families.
But don’t let this be the reason you don’t make your vision come to life. It’s a key stressor in homemaking for sure.
Mainly because we don’t get paid in dollar bills for our work. But stay positive and remember there are always work arounds for expensive things
Bargain food stores like Aldi’s, bargain clothing and home decor stores like TJ Maxx and Home Goods, and even cheaper, thrift stores that have tons of gems that may fit your vision board with just a little polishing up.
Don’t believe what you think you see on social media, most people, especially young families, are struggling with money.
You can still make your vision for a happy home happen.
And finally the third major obstacle, mental fatigue.
As a stay-at-home Mom you are a caretaker, you are raising people and teaching them every boundary, every lesson, every skill in life, moment by moment.
You are also a homemaker and a home manager.
These are three huge undertakings. There is a lot on your plate!
You deserve to be seen, validated, appreciated, and proud. Without that a mental fatigue and feeling of worthlessness can set in.
This is one of the reasons I created TheNestKeepr, because too many SAHMs feel unseen and unappreciated.
Nobody is validating their work and they aren’t proud of all that they do.
For me, my own mother told me that I was ruining my life when I had my first child, and I don’t think this is that uncommon.
Maybe not to that extreme, but there is a generation before us that made us feel like being a Mom wasn’t enough and becoming a mom, was the end of your chances to become enough.
So we, at TheNestKeepr, are working to build community here to give that reminder and validation we, as stay-at-home moms, need every so often, to each other.
I set up a Mom’s group on Facebook titled The NestKeepr Mom Group for Moms that want to lift each other up and give support and advice in all homemaking endeavors.
Ok. So now let’s talk about an actionable plan to being a successful stay-at-home mom!
We can break it down into three categories: homemaking, home managing, and caregiving/raising children.
Homemaking
Let’s start with Homemaking.
When you close your eyes and imagine the home you want, is it filled with clutter?
You have to get rid of the clutter.
There’s an entire article on The NestKeepr about decluttering your home, and you can read that if you want, but the point is, you need to get rid of the things that don’t make you happy.
The things that are just sitting around on the cabinets and tables because you feel guilt about getting rid of them.
Guilt creates hoarders. Get rid of it.
Everything in your home should either a) be a valuable part of your aesthetic or b) have a home where it’s put away and out of sight.
Baskets and ottomans that have storage, coffee tables with hidden storage, closets and drawers, toy bins and organizers, are all good homes for things you want to keep because they improve your life or make you happy.
If the thing does neither of these two things, get rid of it.
The Fun Part: Aesthetic!
Now that the decluttering is done; let’s talk about your aesthetic.
My husband and I have always gravitated towards blues with splashes of red accents and a neutral pallet otherwise.
We like high end looking decorative pieces so we have big books about famous designers as coffee table books and an extra large monopoly board as a functional aesthetic piece.
Before that we had a chess set.
You need to nail down a visual aesthetic to really create a cohesive home environment.
So get together with your partner and discuss what you both like and create a plan, so you really know what isn’t working in your house and you really know when something is a good find.
It helps to create a vision board together or make a Pinterest board.
Kids rooms get their own aesthetic. This should match the vibe of your child or children, not the vibe of the house. This is their space, their space should bring them joy.
The Laundry Problem
Have a laundry plan that starts with the hampers.
My most popular post on The NestKeepr is laundry solutions for small spaces, and there’s a reason for that. Keeping your dirty clothes organized will make cleaning them a quick, easy, seamless process. Remember my mommy mantra, one load a day keeps the piles away.
Aothing kills the vibe of a home like laundry laying around all over the place.
Finally let’s talk about holiday decor, because lots of us can’t help but collect decorations for every holiday, every month, all year long.
Just please have a plan for your items, like a storage bin in the garage, or closet, if you are going to do this.
If there’s no place to store it after the holiday, don’t buy it, or buy it knowing you’re going to donate it afterwards.
Do. Not. Hoard. Don’t keep things that don’t have homes.
Home Managing as a Stay-At-Home Mom
Ok, Now let’s talk about part two: home managing.
This comes down to the upkeep and maintaining of your home environment.
You can choose to do it all, or you can delegate what you can.
One way I’ve embraced delegation that I love, is using a chore chart.
I print it out, write in daily tasks, such as making beds and emptying the dishwasher,
and weekly tasks like washing sheets, cleaning floors, vacuuming couches all listed so that whoever does them can mark them off with their initials.
This helps me remember what needs to be done, what’s already been done, as well as motivates delegation when I offer allowances for chores done by kiddos.
It also reminds everyone else of everything I do around the house, which makes me feel seen.
If you’re looking for a printable I do have one on the website for free and it’s the same one I use in my house.
You can find it in the article titled, Tidy Living: Daily House Cleaning Schedule.
Form Some Good Habits
Specific chores I would recommend forming a habit out of would be, pop a load of laundry in, first thing in the morning so you have all day to get that load finished and put away.
Doing a load every day keeps it from piling up.
Second.
Empty the dishwasher and put away any clean dishes left out to dry first thing in the morning so you have someplace to put dirty dishes throughout the day.
Clean up after dinner and don’t leave dirty dishes sit overnight. Run the dishwasher before you go to bed.
Make sure you’re washing sheets at least once every other week. Clean sheets are a vibe people. They bring joy.
Finally create a *reset* habit. You can find these videos all over social media and they’re so motivating.
If you walk into a room and it’s disheveled, reset it. If you are a schedule person, have a reset plan and schedule. Reset Sunday’s are very popular.
Being a Caretaker and Raising Your Children
Ok, finally let’s talk about that third part, and definitely the most important part of your career.
Raising your children.
This is the most important job in the whole world To YOU, and on the day that you die, you will understand and know this, if you don’t know this today.
Ask any adult with grown children.
Please embrace this and truly try to understand this.
So many parents figure this out after it’s too late. And it’s honestly so sad.
They spend their children’s growing up years focused on anything but raising their children and then realize they let their most important job slip through their fingers and did a shit job of it honestly.
Went in to their day to day not valuing the job of parenthood as the legitimate job that it is.
They filled their time with other things that they thought would give them a sense of selfworth, and they regretted it once it was too late.
Because, let me say it again:
Raising your children is BY FAR the most important job you will ever do, To YOU, specifically.
Ask any old person at all, with grown children, if this is true, and they will validate that for you.
And let me just say the hard truth now, in black and white, in case you didn’t pick it up earlier, you can screw this up, lots do, so take this job seriously.
Number One Key to Success. Most Importantly.
Be there.
Be there for your kids.
Society is constantly pushing people so hard to be more, more, more… and at the same time undervaluing parenting, so much so that many adults end up being many things, except actually there for their children.
They aren’t showing up in their children’s daily lives and taking part in the actual process of teaching them how to be happy, well-rounded, socially educated, healthy, balanced people.
Teaching happens in the moments they ask questions while they’re exploring and learning in their daily lives.
Or when they make a mistake and you’re there to guide them.
And if you aren’t there, you aren’t teaching them.
If you aren’t teaching them, you aren’t raising them.
Take the time to BE THERE with and for your children.
Tiny moments become teachable moments and they all matter, be present, and be there, and you will succeed.
If you only take one piece of parenting advice from me, let that be the one.
Ask yourself honestly, am I showing up for my kids? If the answer is yes, you’re doing great.
More Parenting Tips for Stay-At-Home Moms
Ok, now some less important stuff that can still help you be successful, because parenting doesn’t come with a handbook, and being a parent for eighteen years, with three kids, I’ve learned some things.
One: Plan activities so you have a schedule.
You don’t have to stick strictly to a schedule, but kids love routine and knowing what to expect. They want to be able to ask you, “What are we doing today?” and you have an answer.
If you get in the routine of having three choices for them and letting them pick which activity is first, so they also have some control, you’ll be able to find a nice rhythm.
Getting a physical activity, a brain development activity, and a fine motor skills activity in most days will help developmentally and you’ll feel really good about yourself as a stay-at-home mom if you are creating these experiences for your kids.
Also bored kids are kids that act out.
Let’s Talk About Food
Ok finally:
Lets talk about food.
I’ve been seeing a concerning trend of parents limiting kids diets to extreme measures and creating a space in their home where kids are never pleased by their food.
Not only that, they’re not being set up to succeed in the real world outside of your home.
Healthy structure around food is great, but if it’s taken too far, it can become toxic.
The kids are miserable and acting out because they aren’t satisfied emotionally or physically.
You may think you’re doing what is best for your kids, because we live in a world where if you find the right rabbit hole, everything edible is bad for you, but please be careful.
Please make sure you are providing enough substance both nutritionally and emotionally.
If your kids don’t like what you’re giving them, consistently, and they don’t eat it, consistently, you aren’t providing the nutrition.
Food is a basic necessity and they will act out.
Food is one of natures most nurturing experiences. It should be pleasurable and it should make your kids happy.
I’m not saying some stuff isn’t bad. Like soda. But things are getting crazy out there.
Feed your kids and make them happy. It shouldn’t need to be said, but surprisingly, it does.
Kids don’t eat like adults on a diet, they’re growing. Give them happiness on their plate. Food is a love language.
Ok, enough about that, let me wrap this up.
How Will You Know If You Are A Successful Stay-At-Home Mom?
If you are successful, you will be paid lucratively in memories that will last you a lifetime.
Memories of stepping stones, smiles, and laughter.
You will be paid in unbreakable bonds with your children as they walk into adulthood.
You will be rewarded with the things that make life worth living, an abundance of recollections and stories that will later be described as the best moments of your life.
Retirement will be when you can look yourself in the mirror once they’ve grown and know that you gave your family everything you had every day, without regrets, and hopefully you’ll have well-rounded respectable children you’re proud of that are also proud of you and know what you gave to them.
Go be the best you can be, mama!
Finally just a reminder, we, at TheNestKeepr, are working to build community here and give validation we, as stay-at-home moms, need every so often to each other.
Join our Facebook group titled The NestKeepr Mom Group if you’re looking for Moms that want to lift each other up and give support and advice in all homemaking endeavors.
Follow me on social media or pin our homepage to your phone’s home screen so you can browse our articles regularly. We don’t spam or even collect and keep emails. Because the last thing you need is more clutter.
Happy Nesting NestKeeprs!
